Iolani Is Finally Here!!

Once Dr. Pang got on board with our decision to keep Iolani, go through the vertical c-section and accept the outcome at the end of it we set up a date for her birth (2 days before she was due) and proceeded to wait it out. What a heartbreaking, excruciating 2 weeks it was not knowing if she would be still-born or severely deformed. We just hoped and I prayed profusely and I reached out to my friends and family for support. As I expressed to 2 of my best girlfriends, Michelle and Ana Maria, that was one of the best lessons I learned through our experience with her diagnosis. There were so many people who loved us, cared deeply about us, who prayed for, thought about and loved our little girl despite their distance, how long it had been since we were in touch or how well we knew them. We were blessed with love, support, encouragement, and overwhelming kindness. How fortunate we were in such an unfortunate time.
Finally, February 17th arrived. The day before Iolani was to arrive into this world. We decided to stay in a nice hotel that my wonderful, little brother had put us up in and had dinner with him and our mothers. It was a solemn dinner. We returned to the hotel and Mark and I decided to do a hypno-birthing exercise that would put our minds and souls into a positive space of light and peace. It was also what allowed us to sleep. We fell asleep in each other's arms and soon after opened our eyes to the day that would forever change our lives.
February 18th, the day my miracle came. We arrived at the hospital early and began all the (MANY) preparations for the special c-section to take place. 2 nurses worked with me and both were extremely somber. It was difficult to listen to them speak to me about how babies spirits will remain in the world and how I must be strong no matter what. All I wanted was to give birth to my daughter and hear her little scream. Instead I was subjected to more medical professionals saying inappropriate things to me. I blocked them out and went within myself to talk to Iolani. I told her that no matter what she was mine. My love, my heart, my soul...and I would fight for her but I needed her to fight as well. She kicked and kicked and kicked...and I felt empowered by those movements. I knew I could go through this difficult situation because although the whole medical world was giving her very little chance to survive or have a normal life I knew she could, I knew she wanted a chance and as her mother it was my responsibility to give it to her. So they prepared me and I said goodbye to the many, many loved ones that came out to support us and be there in the hospital waiting for us. I walked into the surgical room knowing that no matter what I ADORED Iolani Azul and I felt at peace with that. Mark wasn't allowed in until after they gave me the spinal epidural and that put a bit of fear into me but I remained steadfast. Soon after everything happened very quickly. There were a myriad of people coming into the room as my body began to numb and Mark sat next to me staring and squeezing my hand. We were both so nervous, the anxiety began to take over my upper body as I shook uncontrollably and just kept praying. I felt tugging and a sensation of falling off the table and then the anesthesioligist said some numbers and I thought am I hallucinating, what is he saying. And then I heard the most divine sound I had ever heard. Iolani's squeak and then screams. I finally stopped trembling and gave into my exhaustion as I passed out momentarily. They called Mark over as I lied there and then I was given one of the most beautiful moments of my life. My first look at my amazing girl. She was gorgeous, more than I could ever imagine. And my new life began as she was rushed away to the NICU with her papa.